This last week has been a whirlwind, I don't even know where to begin. I'll have to (for my sanity) start with the good. On March 5 morning, I had my doctor's appointment to see our baby at 12 weeks. We were finally able to scream it from the rooftops that we were pregnant.
The overwhelming support and love started pouring in. Around 11am I texted Jason. "Are you happy?" and he said "I'm so happy, I can't wait to be a proud papa. Are you?" and I said "So happy, that made me tear up!" We were both beaming. As soon as I uploaded the photo, I made sure to tell people that were already in on the secret that we 'announced' (sounds so weird to say), I texted my mom and sister, Jason's mom and sister and a few close friends. I heard back from all of them...except my sister. Which as much as I wish I could say it was, wasn't unusual.
At 2:30pm, I was in a conference room when my phone rang. It was my nephew's school, and they were calling to tell me that it was Wednesday and it looks like my sister forgot it was early day. They've been trying to get ahold of her, but figured they would try me. I left work early to go pick them up and call my mom to let her know. Turns out, she also hasn't heard from my sister that day. I assured my mom that it was a mixup probably and I'll just bring the boys to my house until we talk to Jen. My mom called Jen's property manager to run over to the apartment and check in on her. Unfortunately, it wasn't just a simple mix up.
It was confirmed that afternoon that my Sister had passed in her sleep, to say I experienced every single emotion is an understatement. I went from extreme joy, to deep sorrow, anger, guilt, sadness and every thing in between. Why was this happening? Hasn't our family been through enough?
The next few days flew by and were spent planning a funeral, hugging friends and family members, crying, playing with my nephews, writing my sister's Eulogy, constantly thanking people for their words of 'congratulations', condolences and happy birthday. Yup, my birthday was this past Saturday. We had plans for my mom to come in town to do a family dinner on Sunday with Jen and the boys, something I was looking forward to.